Hoda Kotb Reveals What It’s Really Like To Co-Parent With Ex Joel Schiffman After Quitting New York City and ‘Today’

by Charlie Lankston

Former "Today" star Hoda Kotb has made a highly anticipated return to the morning show that turned her into a household name—however, instead of picking back up her hosting duties, the mother of two took on a very different role, appearing as a guest.

Kotb, 61, rejoined her former co-star, Savannah Guthrie, in the NBC studio, where she candidly opened up about the ways in which her life has changed in the last year since she announced that she was leaving the show.

Her personal evolution takes center stage in her new book, "Jump and Find Joy: Embracing Change in Every Season of Life," a series of motivational quotes and stories that have helped Kotb face tough challenges head-on throughout every stage of her life.

Kotb also lays out some of those personal hurdles that she has had to leap over, including her split from her former fiancé, Joel Schiffman, with whom she adopted two children before announcing their breakup in 2022, having spent nearly 10 years together.

Speaking about the decision to end the relationship, Kotb—who relocated from New York City to Bronxville with her two daughters shortly before stepping down from "Today"—explained that it was prompted by a moment of clarity in her life that came after she spent a week at a retreat at the Hoffman Institute.

Hoda Kotb returns to the Today show to discuss new book
Hoda Kotb has returned to the "Today" show, eight months after stepping down from her role as a host on the hit program. (NBC)
Hoda Kotb and Savannah Guthrie on the Today show
Kotb, 61, joined her former co-star Savannah Guthrie in the NBC studio to discuss her new book, "Jump and Find Joy." (NBC)

Having completed the program, which is meant to help participants "identify negative behaviors, moods, and ways of thinking that developed unconsciously and were conditioned in childhood," according to its website, Kotb says she felt as though "everything had shifted" in her life, including her relationship with Schiffman.

"I think we’ve always been connected and will always be connected for many reasons," the mother of two explained to Today.com. "We will co-parent in a beautiful way, but I also think our ‘us’ is more of a, like, we’re dear friends now. And that’s beautiful, and it’s enjoyable and it feels right.

"We were laughing the other day just in hysterics, and I feel like this is the right relationship for us to have."

Despite ending their romantic relationship, Kotb says that Schiffman's role in their daughters' lives remains much the same as it was before their split—noting that he regularly spends time at their new home, which the former on-air star purchased for $2.9 million in April 2024.

"We’ll do a barbecue. He’ll give the girls a kiss. He says, ‘See you in the morning.’ He’ll come back in the morning," she explained.

Kotb added that both she and Schiffman have dedicated themselves to ensuring that the transition has been as smooth as possible for the sake of their daughters—Haley, 8, and Hope, 6—revealing that she and her former partner do not allocate time slots for each person to spend time with the kids, but instead share their time however feels most natural.

"Kids catch pretending. They know that Joel and I care so much for each other, and they also know that we love them dearly," she said. "And I think it’s about carving out time. It’s not his time, my time. It’s our time. That’s how we do it."

As for a future relationship, Kotb noted that she is not actively pursuing anything romantic—either via setups from friends or on dating apps—however, she believes that she will find herself a partner at some point in the future, when the time is right.

"I think I’m just waiting to see what happens. ... I always tell my kids, 'Thoughts become things. So think about what you can be,'" she explained.

In her interview with "Today," Kotb opened up about the many changes she has gone through in recent years—including her split from her former fiancé, Joel Schiffman. (Patrick McMullan/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)
Kotb and Schiffman adopted two daughters together during their romance—and the former "Today" star said her ex still plays a major role in their kids' lives. (hodakotb/Instagram)
Hoda Kotb move
Before announcing her departure from "Today," Kotb relocated from New York City to the suburbs in a bid to give her kids a more "normal" life. (Instagram/Hoda Kotb)

"I’m not running around saying, ‘Set me up. Who’s the guy? What’s the app?' But I do know that in this season, that’s coming—where and how, I’m not clear yet. But I think the closer you get to who you are, the more likely you are to meet someone who you’re ready for.

"There’s someone meant for me out there, which I’m convinced of. I have no doubt in my mind that that exists and that person is out there."

Speaking about her decision to leave NBC after nearly two decades on the air, Kotb described it has being "equal parts exhilarating and scary," noting that she felt a bit like "the new kid in school."

"Being a beginner is exciting for me, and I feel like that’s what’s happening to me right now. I’m a beginner again," she said.

Kotb first announced in September 2024 that she would be stepping down from the "Today" show after 17 years to spend more time with her two daughters, later revealing that her final day on-air would be Jan. 10.

Her shock announcement—which left her co-hosts in tears—came not long after Kotb quit her longtime home in Manhattan and moved to a stunning new home in Bronxville, where she said she planned to enjoy some downtime in the wake of her departure from NBC.

Speaking to Today.com ahead of her last day, Kotb opened up about her desire to embrace a new routine with her kids at the four-bedroom, five-bathroom, center-hall Colonial, explaining that she is excited to have a more "normal" day-to-day regimen after years of early mornings.

"I'm just going to let us be a family with a normal rhythm of life. See what we become," she said. "I'm going to let [my daughters] take more trips and stay up a little later because part of the reason I put them to bed at that hour is because I've got to go to bed. I'm like, 'Goodnight! Everyone's going to bed.' They're like, 'It's 6:30!' I'm like, 'Yeah, lights out!'"

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